One day, you and your work ‘bestie’ are grabbing coffee and venting about office drama. The next, they’re sitting across from you in a leadership meeting, setting deadlines and reviewing your performance. Awkward? Maybe. Doable? Absolutely.
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If your friend has just been promoted to your manager, it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions - pride, uncertainty, maybe even jealousy. And while things will inevitably shift, this transition doesn’t have to be weird or difficult. The key is approaching it with professionalism, self-awareness, and some strategy.
When I speak to my coaching clients, here’s a few tips I will give them along the way with this transition:
1. Accept that things will change (and that’s okay)
It’s tempting to pretend that nothing has changed, but the truth is, it has. Your friend now has new responsibilities, new pressures, and likely a different perspective. They may need to create some professional distance to lead effectively. That doesn’t mean they no longer value your friendship - just that they must navigate a new role.
Rather than resisting the shift, embrace it. Keep things professional in the workplace, and if your friendship is strong, it will naturally find a new rhythm outside of work.
2. Reset expectations and boundaries
If your new manager or boss doesn’t initiate a conversation about your new dynamic, take the lead. A simple, "Hey, I know this is a shift for both of us. I want to make sure we navigate it in a way that works well for you and the team," can go a long way in setting a positive tone.
Be clear that you respect their role and are committed to the team’s success. At the same time, if something feels uncomfortable, like if they’re treating you differently than others or being overly familiar in ways that feel unprofessional, address it early and respectfully.
3. No favourites, just fairness
One of the biggest mistakes people make is expecting favouritism from their newly promoted friend. You might assume that you’ll get more flexibility, better projects, or an easier ride. But your friend-turned-manager likely wants to show they can be fair and impartial. Expect to be treated like everyone else on the team.
Likewise, don’t put them in a tough spot by venting about work issues as you used to. They now have to balance team morale, performance, and leadership expectations. Instead, keep workplace discussions professional and save personal conversations for outside of work.
4. Support their success
Let’s be honest: Stepping into a leadership role is tough - even tougher if you are working in the same division.
Your friend is probably navigating imposter syndrome, pressure from above, and the challenge of managing former peers. Instead of making it harder, be an ally. Offer support, give constructive feedback, and help make their transition smoother.
If they make mistakes (and they will), be patient. Adjusting to leadership is a learning curve, and you can help them succeed by being adaptable and solution-oriented rather than critical or resentful.
5. Don’t be a "yes person"
When someone moves into management, they often start receiving a lot more flattery and a lot less honest feedback. Be the person who tells the truth - respectfully yet candidly. If you see something they could improve or a decision that might backfire, offer your perspective thoughtfully.
Being a straight shooter will help maintain mutual trust and make you a valuable team member. Just make sure your feedback is constructive and not rooted in lingering peer-to-peer dynamics.
6. If there’s tension, address it early
If your friend’s promotion brings up unresolved tensions or competitiveness, don’t let resentment fester. Have an honest and candid conversation about how you can work well together. If necessary, involve HR or a mentor to help navigate the change professionally.
At the end of the day, leadership changes are part of the workplace. How you handle them will define not just your relationship with your new manager, but also your own professional growth. Approach it with maturity, adaptability, and respect, and you might find that your dynamic evolves in a way that benefits you both.
